Men's Health - Survival Of The Fittest

As an employee, I was invited to join the Men's Health team at their self titled 'Survival Of The Fittest' event on Saturday. The final adventure race in a five city series, this time in and around Wembley Park, London. 

Wembley Stadium - SOTF London

A 10k assault course, consisting of scrambling, clambering, stair-climbing, wading, sliding, crawling and a whole host of other 'ing' movements. There would be plenty of mud and water to give it that 'survivor' edge. Not my usual race but when your boss asks you along, how can you possibly say no?

I had reservations having heard all the 'Tough Spartan Muddering' of late, and the masses of entrants this obstacle malarky was drawing. The image of 'corporate guy' coming through the finish line head-to-toe in mud, a torn t-shirt and a grazed knee, high-fiving every man, woman and child. As I walked down to registration passing compression tights, hand mitts and a group of girls singing Destiny's Child, this only bolstered my preconceptions.

In the VIP tent with the media-set I de-robed, tagged-up and took in a couple of jaffa cakes before heading to the start-line. The casualness was certainly preferential to my usual 'should I use the toilet and have I taken onboard enough nutrition and...' routine. Hoping to get to the hay bales first (never said that before), I positioned myself at the front (never done that before) of a couple hundred fellow entrants. Off we went, getting to the hay bales first I successfully overcame them with an untested but brilliantly executed 'leap-plant-spin' motion. From there on, you know what, I had a bloody whale of a time.

Clambering through tyres, sliding down chutes and carrying traffic cones up and down steps, I found myself at the front of my wave in unchartered territory. Running alongside a young lad in what I thought was an old Picnic marathon t-shirt, I was readying myself for a 'race buddy chat' when I realised I was wrong and saved myself the embarrassment. A few flights of stairs later and a decent stretch of actual running, I lost him and found myself leading. Hurrah!

The course was just plain fun and there was a really great atmosphere and camaraderie amongst the runners. After tackling each obstacle, I had a complete lack of awareness of what would come next, followed by a wry smile when it came into view. A few kilometres around the stadium then we were out into an industrial area where the mud and water greeted us. Before we met the water (christ it was cold) there were several hill climbs and further obstacles in an ever growing mud bath before macho 'run and leap for your life' wall mounting - I managed it, but I hurt my ribs. They still hurt, ouch. And my knees.

An arrow directed the route off the pathways and down into a river, which became quite the order of the day, crossing in one direction and then later back in to cross once more. Such was the traffic at one point I opted to front crawl around those infront, what a keeno! But it worked. Some squelchy running followed before taking a ladder down to a shallow (shin-deep) brook and a long bounding Baywatch-esque sprint through a pitch black tunnel, totally rat-free. Back on dry ground, through the industrial estate, it was back to Wembley Park for the last leg of obstacles. Human traffic was now growing, and comfortably in the lead (I could easily spot the day-glo t-shirt of my competition) it was terribly frustrating to meet lengthy queues at the final stages. 

Between myself and the finish line was one last task, to surmount a tower of climbs all requiring a foot-up and bum-push from fellow competitors. Here my gentlemanly ways would prove to be my downfall. If the guy in front has helped someone up the wall, then you too must help him right? Well, I stuck to the golden rule of ethical decision making, and alas, was pipped at the post. 

So kids what have we learnt today?

I had a great time and officially 'survived'. It was the most fun. Would I run it again? Yeah, if I get invited again next year! But seriously the risk of injury at these events is a little too high for me, and I'd kick myself if I were to scupper my race plans as a result.

But if I were in Wave 1, with no traffic...hmmm.

Chicked 4 times

Men's Health SOTF London 2014 / 01:07:32 / 127th overall / 2nd in Category

Oh f*** it, cue music...